“Tower, this is Teacup One, F-104 on the ramp, for taxi and takeoff instructions.”... a familiar voice came over the primary tower frequency.
Looking down from the control tower I could see the F-104 Starfighter
preparing to taxi to the active runway. That would be “The Major” in the cockpit. He was the commander of the small Flight Test
group at our base, their “call signs" were Teacup One through Five and we knew each one through near daily contact.
I had seen the Major walking across the ramp towards the
aircraft in that flying suit that high performance
aircraft pilots wear, maybe he wasn’t actually swaggering, but I would have
been. The difference between a pro and a
“want-to-be”!!
I gave Teacup "the nod to leave the sod" and, cleared to go, he began the takeoff roll. As Teacup One rocketed down the runway and rotated to go
vertically, climbing straight up, I
requested he call off his altitude at 5,000 foot levels. There
was no real need for that, I was just thrilled at the speed at which that
aircraft was rocketing upward, the F104 climb capability rated at 48,000 feet
per minute and a top straight and level speed of over 1,300 miles per
hour. A near rocket with 7 foot stubby wings.. all power plant!!! I nearly shivered with envy as he called each altitude level... he was smokin'!!!!!
With all my heart I had wished I was behind the controls of that
marvelous bird. I felt that deep distress of envy. I realized at that moment that glory days of
being an Air Force pilot were not going
to happen for this intrepid airman, no supersonic flights, no high speed climbs to altitude, no
glamorous adventures, no coveted pilot’s wings, no jumping into a high
performance jet and doing victory rolls for me. :::sigh:::
Now envy is not a new phenomenon. It preceded the internet, personal computer,
television and even the iPhone and CHEERIOS!
The Bible records envy as far back as the allegory of Adam and Eve in
the Garden of Eden contained in the book of Genesis. Therein recorded is the story of the how
Cain, one of their sons was envious of his brother Abel, and killed him. Envy ruined
both of their lives.
Eve was tempted to
eat the “forbidden fruit”, a form of envying that she and Adam couldn’t have everything they wanted. Envy ruined both of their lives.
Envy, defined in our dictionary as a “painful or resentful
awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess
the same advantage” and it ruins lives. Related words
describe some of the many costumes envy may be wearing, words such as: covetousness,
animosity, enmity, hatred, ill will; malice,
maliciousness.
But is Envy really about
others? Isn’t envy just feeling dissatisfied
with ourselves, unhappy with our own status, our place in life, in our
community or our family?
Envy has appeared in my personal experience as: “Why did they choose that guy for the
job? I am more qualified.” Or, even worse, “Her prayers always seem to be effective and God doesn’t seem to hear mine!!” If envy wore a Tee shirt
with a red ENVY written on it, we would know it, shun it, give it wide berth.
In a statement in her Miscellaneous Writings, Theologian Mary
Baker Eddy writes: “If a man is jealous, envious, or revengeful, he will
seek occasion to balloon an atom of another man’s indiscretion, inflate it, and
send it into the atmosphere of mortal mind — for other
green eyes to gaze on: he will always find somebody in his way, and try to push
him aside; will see somebody’s faults to magnify under the lens that he never
turns on himself. * “WOW! Now
that’s putting it right out there!!!
At one of my more "silly thoughts" moments, while questioning whether some recent
actions and comments were based on envy, I pondered, “I wonder if the number 5 is envious of
the number 100. I could almost envision
a Number 5 saying… “Gee, that 100 has 3 digits.
It looks really good with that rounded end number, so symmetrical, and it
is such big a number, WOW, to be One Hundred!!! He must know someone higher up!! What must it be like… here, I am… a little 5. I wish, I wish, I wish…”.
But, what would the Number Set be without 5!! It is famous for its role
in “five fingers”, “five
toes”, “five dollar bill”, or in England “five pence”!!! In Spanish, Cinco; In Arabic, Khamsa; In German, Funf; It has a name in every language. How important is that??? And, likewise, what would eternity be without one of its most wonderful ideas...YOU?
As with all problems we face, our solution is not extracting
envy via mental surgery or pumping it out into a bucket for disposal, but it is
removed by filling our thought with gratitude for who we are as vital, irreplaceable ideas of God,
by realizing our inseparability from the Mind that created us, that mind characterized by the Apostle Paul as “in
whom we live and move and have our being” **.
As we begin to more fully appreciate ourselves, our unique,
individual, one of a kind, irreplaceable selves, we can begin to see others in a clearer view,
appreciate them for their contribution, cherishing them as individual ideas of
the Creator instead of jealously fault-finding. When envy looms in my thought I sometimes
practice by trying to see some small good quality in the person or thing that I envy, looking for even just one thing in them to appreciate
and love. And I can always find loads of good when I do that.
Rest assured that we all, even the most humble of God’s ideas, have a place, a non-negotiable, permanent, forever, for all time place. There will always be a five and there will always
be a you, and me, and each individual instance of God’s thought, reflecting our
own individual goodness and being.
As
Jesus so wisely prescribed: “Be ye
therefore perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.” ***
* Miscellaneous
Writings Mis 129
**
Acts 17:28
*** Matthew
5:48
