Trying to Quit…

I spotted a small folded piece of paper on my seven year old son’s bedroom dresser and was in the process of picking it up to throw it in the waste basket, but curiosity made me unfold it to see what it was.   The paper was so wrinkled… it must have been folded, opened and refolded 100 times.   As I opened it I was shocked to see a scantily clad young woman’s picture, a centerfold picture from an “adult” magazine.  

My son had spent the night with a young friend earlier in the week and upon discussing this with my son I learned the boys had found some of the dad’s "adult" magazines and he tore out this page.

As I showed him the picture and talked about how it looked like it had been folded and  

refolded many times, I asked him if he had been looking at that picture a lot.  He said, “Yes Dad, but I am trying to quit.”   Those sad eyes looking up at me, that regret at doing what he knew was not something he was proud of, that self-disappointment showing on his little face, made my heart melt.

As I looked within myself at that moment, I thought, ‘ 'Yes, my boy, Dad knows that sinking feeling of guilt and disappointment,' not a necessarily a sneak peek at racy pictures but the awareness of doing something, maybe a lot of things that I was ashamed of, or not happy to have as part of my character, longing to quit, to change for the better.

Haven’t many of us been in that situation?  Maybe experiencing disappointment with ourselves for not “measuring up”, for doing things we regret, painfully aware that what we are doing is inappropriate, unwise, impure, perhaps not necessarily hurtful or really bad, but something beneath our standards.    But we continue to be powerless to resist the attraction to the wrong actions.  We are Trying to Quit!

It seems fashionable today to “Go to Rehab”, that mecca where an endless stream of celebrities, elected officials and maybe even the person next door go for a miracle cure.  So many wonderful people seemingly chained to bad habits of drugs, alcohol, sex addiction, abuse or maybe just being excessively critical, hurtful, “slightly dishonest", or just falling short of the mark we have set for ourselves.    They are “Trying to Quit”.

The Bible, that historical record of mankind’s efforts to rise higher in spirituality and to escape the downward pull of materiality has many examples showing this is not a new phenomenon.  Even for those whose life mission was to follow the teachings of Christ Jesus, sin was still a struggle. A Bible quote from Paul’s Epistle to the Romans  reflects his struggle where he writes:  “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.  For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.” *  He was “Trying to Quit.”  

Anyone who has tried to quit smoking or the use of alcohol and drugs knows that Quitting is difficult!! But maybe Quitting is not the answer after all, and perhaps Starting is a better solution. Instead of trying to extract the unwelcome and undesirable habits and activities, filling their place with good ones is easier and more profitable. After all, in our schools we don't try to pull out ignorance, we pour in "learning"!

Recently while cleaning our duck pond I remembered how in the past I had used every method in the book to get the dirty water out of the pond including  a pump, suction

devices, a shovel and anything at hand.  Getting the sludge, feathers and dirty water out was a real chore.    This time  I began filling the pond with clean water which eventually forced out the dirty sludge, replacing it with clean, sparkling water.   How much easier it was to let the clean water do the work of purging the impure contents rather than spending hours dredging out the unwanted dirty water. And, the added benefit was that the dirty water fertilized the land around the pond.  Best of all,  when I had used the old method of emptying and draining I only ended up with an empty vessel. By filling with clean water the end result was a clean and sparkling pool, delightful to the eye and welcoming to the ducks.

In the Holy Bible we see where Christ Jesus shared a story** with his followers that held the key to our freedom.  He described how a  farmer had planted good seed in a field but someone had overnight planted some bad seed in that same field.  That "someone" described as an “enemy”, perhaps was the same enemy that plants those bad ideas in our thinking, those temptations, selfish ideas, greed, sensuality, insensitivity which cause such pain, distress and discouragement.   Jesus told how the landowner advised against pulling up the weeds, but instead nurturing the good seed,  faithfully cultivating and encouraging the good until the bad could be rooted out at harvest.

Religious pioneer Mary Baker Eddy, the discoverer and founder of Christian Science, counseled that "The way to extract error from mortal mind is to pour in truth through flood-tides of Love. Christian perfection is won on no other basis."***

Each of us can decide how best to "Stop Quitting and Start Starting"!!!  But for me, the straightforward lesson in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, contained in what are termed the Beatitudes, provides an excellent starting point.   This is a daily challenge,  but the results are surely worth it. 

For starters I am going to practice living these initial steps, several Beatitudes paraphrased from the King James version of the Bible and the Message translation:

·       Blessed are those who are gentle. 

·       Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for God’s approval.

·       Blessed are those who show mercy.

·       Blessed are those whose thoughts are pure.

   Blessed are those who make peace.

This is a start, and the rest of the list can be found in Matthew, chapter 5. 

So,if we become discouraged  “Trying to Quit”, to leave behind some unwanted habit, personality trait, or hurtful way of thinking, we need not despair nor wrestle endlessly in a futile effort to extract the bad qualities. Rest assured that diligent and sincere efforts to pour in love, meekness, purity and other good qualities will soon clear out the “dirty water” of our lives.  And, best of all, we will not end up an “empty vessel”, but will reflect more of God's goodness and float more peacefully on life's waters. 

*    Romans 7:18

**    Matthew 13:13-24

***   Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy 

THE ESSENTIAL YOU!!

The announcement over the corporate campus-wide speaker system blared… ALL NON-ESSENTIAL PERSONNEL LEAVE THE BUILDINGS IMMEDIATELY. We had heard the sirens screaming as the fire equipment raced into the office complex where our headquarters were located. 

Working for a very large international company, our headquarters spread out over a number of acres, I had received a quick phone call alert from Security a few moments earlier. The fire was on the roof of a building hundreds of yards away, a safe distance from our building where my staff was housed and I knew there was no danger. But as I heard the employees filing out of the building, I did wander out into the parking lot to see which of my staff felt that they were non-essential. I wanted to ask them why they felt unimportant.

This week I was reminded of that scene from the past when the U.S. government decided that, due to Congressional deadlock, non-essential personnel would not be coming to work next week. It brought back memories of how, since that earlier time, I had often thought about the difference between being essential in life and non-essential.

In fact, in life… EVERYONE is essential. Every one of God’s beautiful ideas has a purpose, a place, a mission, a joyous duty to be the reflection, the image and likeness of God’s love. It is good to remember the old Arab Proverb: “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

I’ve noticed, especially in our older population, that many folks, after they’ve retired, start to think of themselves as

non-essential. They seem to feel unneeded, content to sit on the sidelines no longer feeling part of the game. Others may sometimes feel that their job is not an important one, that they are continually passed by or ignored by others, maybe experiencing a seeming physical or mental disability or distressed financial situation leaving them stranded, or perhaps a failed relationship has rendered them sad, lonely, disappointed… “feeling worthless”! I believe it is because they may have lost sight of what is really ESSENTIAL!

Many of us have seen a television show called Antiques

Roadshow. This program features relics of the past, antiques that have been hidden away, possibly for years. Many of the fine jewelry, furniture or crystal pieces, made by the finest artists, are clearly valuable.   But some, the rusty, cracked old items, worn, stained, bruised perhaps, seemingly useless, when scrutinized by the Auction Experts show a stamp, a maker’s mark or unique features indicating they are extremely rare, or were made by a

master craftsman and therefore very valuable.

What a lesson for us, a clue as to how we should recognize the value in ourselves and others. If we look deep within ourselves we will each find that "maker's mark" of the

Maker's Mark - Craftsman Identification

Craftsman, that Creator who makes perfect ideas of timeless value, each individual a creation of usefulness, something to be taken off the display shelf and demonstrated every day for its beauty, charm, inspiration and usefulness.   We each were built for an eternity of giving and not with a short shelf life. 

Christ Jesus showed us just how essential everyone is by way of the Beatitudes given in his Sermon on the Mount.* And, the beautiful lesson of the Beatitudes, the dictionary describes beatitude as “a state of utmost bliss”, shows HOW we can reflect the Essential Qualities of life, which bring those blessings to us and others. 

Each Beatitude starts with Blessed, which according to Webster means “having a sacred nature: connected with God.” The Beatitudes include: Blessed are those who are gentle, who hunger and thirst for God’s approval, who show mercy, whose thoughts are pure,  who make peace. There are others (Matthew 5) but these few serve as a great starting point for me towards seeing them as Essential. 

We may not be a prominent government office holder, a captain of industry, an important educator, doctor or theologian… but every one of us, no matter our human status, is vital in God’s plan. Just as the number set is not complete without every number, reaching to infinity, we all have a place.  Oh how the world needs every one of these qualities.We can begin to see ourselves as the very presence of meekness and love, an outgoing ray from God, in fact, the evidence of God’s presence... right here and now. Embracing the world with tenderness, purity and peace, we will bloom and blossom and fill our rightful place in God’s plan.  

A favorite little hymn verse conveys the thought:

What if the little rain should say,  **
“So small a drop as I
Can ne’er refresh those thirsty fields,
I’ll tarry in the sky;”

Does not each raindrop help to form
The cool, refreshing show’r?
And every ray of light to warm
And beautify the flow’r?

Will you join me in my quest to be an “Essential Raindrop”? 

*   The Holy Bible   Matthew 5

** Attributed to Jerome McCauley  1911

Lesson from the Leaves

The soft, mellow music of Nat King Cole’s velvet voice  drifted softly across the front porch where I was sitting in my rocking chair, enjoying the view of the sun setting behind the Blue Ridge  mountains in a lovely late afternoon sky. 

     

Click Here to listen... Autumn Leaves by King Cole

"The falling leaves drift by the window
 The autumn leaves of red and gold ….” 

And on it played to its beautiful conclusion…  “When autumn leaves start to fall”

The familiar words turned my thought back many years, to a time when the autumn leaves were falling, cascading down and covering the lawn on Jefferson Avenue in Chillicothe, Ohio, where a young boy had decided to help his Dad, a hard working father who was exhausted after an extra long night shift at the paper mill.

What had started out as a “Dad’s little helper” task was now turning into major disaster.  As a six year old, I had absolutely no idea that even well intentioned little “helpful tasks” could cause big problems.

It all started when I felt a little too big for my britches and decided to rake the fall leaves from the front yard.    I was so proud of myself for having raked the entire front yard, pulling the leaves with the big leaf rake out into the gutter.  Now that I had a huge pile about half the width of our lawn stacked high in the gutter and reaching out into the street, my last little task was to get rid of them.

Now it didn’t seem like a good idea to let my Dad know what I had planned, I wanted to surprise him with a “Well Dad, I took care of the leaves!” I could almost hear the inevitable praises… “What a good boy”. 

I slipped into the house and got a box of matches and went back out. It took a few tries as I had never lit a match before, finally, success! I had a match burning and I threw it into those dry leaves.   I was on my way!!

The fire actually grew faster than I had thought it would and the the flames started rising producing thick clouds of dirty white smoke.  In panic mode, I started raking vigorously covering up the flames,  need more leaves, raking faster and faster. “Surely if I get enough leaves on the fire it will be hidden.  Gotta cover it up quick!”

The fire just grew bigger and bigger, flames reaching higher and higher, smoke covering the neighborhood.  I was really frightened and wanted to keep my parents from seeing the fire. But….

Above the sound of my racing heart I heard a shout behind me.  Dad was no longer sleeping and was standing with Mom on the porch aghast at the site and fearing, I’m sure, that the whole neighborhood would go up in flames. Dad rushed out with the hose and together we fought the fire until Dad told me to get lost, and get out of his way.  As I recall he wasn’t smiling his usual happy smile.

After the fire was out and things calmed down especially my Dad, we had what Dad called a little instructional talk.  What he lacked in tact, he made up for in straightforwardness!!   I guess the most important thing  I took away from the lesson was: 

If you find yourself in a hole… STOP DIGGING!

In what became “The Lesson of the Leaves” to me, I learned at a young age the consequences of a “cover-up” and the necessity for honesty and openness.  Tragically today we so often see the disastrous results of attempts to cover up mistakes, errors and omissions, dishonesty, situations that would bring dishonor, embarrassment, even jail time by individuals, businesses and governments.

How hard the lesson we all must learn that a problem approached with humility and honesty when there is  wrong doing, hastens a solution and makes things so much easier on everyone.   Even in very insignificant dealings, complete honesty and openness are so healthy.  

It is fascinating to watch criminal defense attorneys being interviewed on TV, fiercely defending their clients, claiming their  innocence, maintaining that their client will be vindicated, notwithstanding that the defendant’s criminal act may have been captured on security cameras, in front of ten witnesses, leaving clear fingerprints and maybe had already confessed to the police!!   What a disservice to truth and honesty when people can blatantly tell something so obviously false.  

I recently saw a sign in front of a local church that said, “Prepare your tax returns as though someone was looking over your shoulder.”   I wanted to jump out of the car and change that sign to read:  “Always do everything in the most honest and truthful manner and you won’t need anyone looking over your shoulder!!  A clean conscience is a wonderful feeling!!”  And I have earned the right to do that through painful experience, “Right Dad?”!!!

The weight of guilt is heavy. For those who are humble enough to learn from others, especially the wisdom of the ages captured in what I call my Operator’s Manual, the Holy Bible, we can see examples of the effects of deceit, dishonesty and covering up or hiding unacceptable behavior.  While there are many examples, one of my favorites can be found in the record of Jacob.

Jacob and Esau were twins, the sons of Isaac and Rebekah.

When the time came for Isaac to bestow his blessing on his sons, Jacob and his mother contrived to deceive Isaac into blessing Jacob in Esau’s place, thereby giving Jacob the inheritance that was due his brother, as first born. . When Esau found that his blessing had been given to Jacob, he threatened to kill his brother, and Jacob was forced to leave home to go to another country to avoid Esau’s wrath.

When he finally decided to come home he was very frightened and in a sacred moment, when he turned his whole life over to God and asked forgiveness, he was relieved of the guilt. As he approached his brother Esau, who was coming to meet him, they rejoiced in each other and were at peace. Poor Jacob must have been fearful and guilt ridden all these years because he had tried to hide his sin.

Religious pioneer Mary Baker Eddy counsels in her book, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, “Honesty is spiritual power. Dishonesty is human weakness, which forfeits divine help.   You uncover sin, not in order to injure, but in order to bless the corporeal man; and a right motive has its reward."   Proverbs has it: “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy."

By opening the window shades and letting in the sunlight of truth we can put out the fire of guilt and enjoy a life of peace, honesty, purity, guiltless living. 

As leaf raking time approaches,  I am remembering the Lesson of the Leaves!!  And as the sun sets over the mountains and the music changes to Nat Cole singing “How High the Moon”, it’s time to go inside….