Laughing with Larry

I heard someone yelling DUMB!! DUMB!!! DUMB!!   as I stopped the car.   That would, of course, be my neighbor and business partner, Larry.

Larry had called on the phone  a few minutes earlier and told me to get moving!!  He had  just gotten through to a plant manager and made an appointment for us to make a sales presentation at a chemical plant south of Houston and we needed to leave immediately. I told him I would drive, and I grabbed my briefcase and ran out the door.    Larry, who conveniently  lived next door, was coming across the lawn as I jumped in the car and backed out of the garage. But there was one tiny problem. I had forgotten to open the garage door so I backed out through the garage door. That may have justified Larry’s screaming comments.

It wasn’t the first time or last  that he had said I was dumb. But I didn’t mind because my partner  was capable of the same kinds of dumb tricks and we had a sort of Dumb and Dumber contest going on. 

Pat Collins and Larry Rolfe - National Information Services Corp.

Our partnership in our little business and our deep friendship were a bond made in heaven.   What a pair we were, two older guys on the wrong side of “middle age’ trying to worm our way back into the world of industry and commerce.   Larry a retired Senior Vice President of a New York Stock Exchange listed corporation and me, a recently laid off Director of Advanced Technology for large engineering company, back on the street toting a sales case, starting over so to speak, not down or discouraged but reflecting all of the spark and vigor of two young entrepreneurs!

It must have been a sight to see,  two older, overweight guys who would’ve seemed more appropriately placed sitting on a park bench feeding the pigeons, trudging up flights of stairs in process industry plants, lugging computer equipment to make our sales demonstrations on those hot summer days in south Texas and Louisiana.   Picture a lot of arguing about whose turn it was to carry the computer equipment.  Larry insisted that he would lug the heavy stuff, I think to prove that he “still had it” in spite of his recent lung transplant.  I, of course, insisted that I would carry the weight since I was  2 years younger and in tip top shape!!  Then we both laughed!!!

To give you an idea of the challenges I faced working with this guy, I relate the following... Larry was a guy who loved cowboy boots. Celebrating a large sale multi-million dollar sale in his previous employment, Larry and several of the sales team took a short holiday and ended up on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, California. Larry found a shop that sold expensive cowboy boots and he found one particular pair, a beautiful blue lizard skin boot  that he just had to have. The shop owner wanted $3,000 for the pair and Larry had only $2000 with him. He paid the $2,000 and the owner agreed to give him one of the boots to take home and he would hold the other until Larry returned with the rest of the money. Larry did return about three weeks later with the rest of the money, only to find that the shopkeeper, apparently tempted by bigger money sold the remaining boot to a one legged man for $2,000.   I still don’t know if I believe that, but, knowing Larry…. anything is possible.

Our sales trips were filled with stories of this nature and we laughed from the time we left home until we returned.

I remember one day when we were driving along the deserted back roads of east Texas.  I noticed that the crows feeding along the road always flew to the south side of the highway as we approached.   I observed this for a number of miles, and each time they flew just to the south, which captured my analytical curiosity.    Then, even knowing that Larry would think it was a "dumb" observation, I shared this finding with him.  Once again, that "look", the raised eyebrow, the unbelieving shake of the head… just knowing he was thinking 'What a Dummie!!'    We both burst out laughing!!

Then, when we finally reached our appointment at a chemical plant in Louisiana, things went downhill. As we drove towards the gate of the plant we saw hundreds of 50 gallon barrels of manufactured product stacked in front of the plant and a line of flatbed trucks, engines running, waiting to be loaded with the flammable products. 

We were excited about the possibility of a big sale and as we approached the plant we could see the Plant Manager and the Process Safety Manager, whom we were to meet, standing out in the parking lot to observe the loading of the trucks. As we drove through the gate in Larry's Mercury Marquee, as if on cue, we noticed smoke and flames coming out of the hood of our car. As we drove in towards the trucks where the barrels were being loaded  all of the people began screaming and waving us away.  Skilled pilot that he was,  Larry pulled into a parking place. He turned to me and shouted, "Get out and put that fire out"!  I replied  indignantly, "Wait, it's YOUR car".   But I did get out and Larry popped the hood.  I was greeted by leaping flames and smoke apparently coming from a power steering leak hitting the engine block and flaming up. My fire fighting tools were one white handkerchief.

By that time some of the truck drivers had grabbed fire extinguishers from their trucks and were running towards us. We managed to get the fire out without burning down the plant or exploding the hundreds of barrels of catalyst. Larry then told me to go ask the Plant Manager where we were to meet. 
  

In speaking with the Manager he felt that, in light of recent events,  the meeting should probably be cancelled and that we should get "that piece of hazardous junk" off his property and some references to our next meeting being when conditions in hell were frozen, or words to that effect.  I was so fascinated by how red his face was and how his voice was shaking and his eyes were sort of popping out of his head that I can't remember the exact words, but I did get the sentiment. 

We didn’t laugh immediately, but after a little while we did.  If you are a Laugher... you laugh!!!

On our sales calls and while doing business, we were like a trained team of Clydesdales pulling together,  but before and after, and especially during our travels, it was a hilarious give and take!   When people talk of love they often refer to a romantic relationship between two individuals, but real love is more far reaching.  Love can be that connection between friends, a deep feeling of respect, admiration, tenderness, support and affection. Sometimes that love is even more lasting and more deep than between two individuals whose sexual attraction may be a substitute for a real love.  

Author Mary Baker Eddy describes love this way:  

Love is not something put upon a shelf, to be taken  down on rare occasions with sugar-tongs and laid on arose-leaf. I make strong demands on love, call for active witnesses to prove it, and noble sacrifices and grand achievements as its results. Unless these appear, I cast aside the word as a sham and counterfeit, having no ring of the true metal. Love cannot be a mere abstraction, or goodness without activity and power. As a human quality, the glorious significance of affection is more than words: it is the tender, unselfish deed done in secret; the silent, ceaseless prayer; the self-forgetful heart that overflows; the veiled form stealing on an errand of mercy, out of aside door; the little feet tripping along the sidewalk; the gentle hand opening the door that turns toward want and woe, sickness and sorrow, and thus lighting the dark places of earth. *

Last week I was having lunch with some of my old friends here in North Georgia.  I’ve written about this little group in an article last year... The Old Men's Club- click here.  During this delightful lunch I was once again reminded of how love crosses the boundaries of age, gender, race, religion, nationality and brings us all into that harmony of love and affection that buoys our spirits and brings a warmth and glow to our lives.

I love this quote: Love never loses sight of loveliness. Its halo rests upon its object. One marvels that a friend can ever seem less than beautiful. **

On days like this, I remember Larry.  Thanks Larry for being my friend... and for the Laughter..

* Miscellaneous Writings - Mary Baker Eddy  (250)
**Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures Mary Baker Eddy (247)

Coming Out of the Closet … with Charlie

Funny how some of the things that seem so terrible at the time, maybe humiliating and embarrassing moments, turn out to be life’s most wonderful and beneficial lessons. The key is getting over it, learning from it and moving on.

Some years ago working in North Carolina, living back in the woods, down a dirt road that ran through a tobacco field outside of Greensboro, I was employed by a very small division of a large textile corporation.

A tremendous opportunity arose for our small start up division when a prospective client showed interested in the services of our fledgling company to support their national advertising campaign, .

Excited at the prospect of “hitting the big time”, my boss Charlie and I worked up a presentation to sell our services.

Now, I was feeling pretty important at this point. It was looking like I had “arrived”. Just a few years earlier, as a young, mid-twenties, computer operations specialist I was far from being a consultant. Now look at me, flying on the company plane to New York City to make an important client presentation, “hitting the BIG TIME”.

When the limousine pulled up under the wing of the corporate plane at Teeterboro airport, my eyes glazed over at the feeling of being “Executive Material”… a most important young man. Amazing how quickly one can get stars in their eyes!!!

               

We were whisked by limousine down to Madison Avenue. The Ad agency offices where we were to meet the client were right out of a Hollywood set, expensive furniture and luxurious brilliant red carpet covered the floor and then continued right up the walls. A few pictures on the walls broke up the sea of red, and there were several gold door knobs adorning the carpeted walls, indicating doors leading to the inside office corridor and conference rooms. 

Warmly welcomed by the Ad Agency staff, we made our way into a conference room filled with client representatives and Ad agency executives, and we made our presentation. 

Then, feeling the glow that comes with a successful sales presentation and with my own visions of rapid growth into top management ranks becoming more realistic, Charlie and I confidently left the room. Most of the client group followed us out into the reception area, exchanging wishes for safe travel.

Then, the unthinkable happened. I reached for the gold doorknob, the one prominently sticking out of that sea of red carpet. As I opened the door and walked out of the offices, both Charlie and I looked back to say one more "Thank You". As the door closed behind us, it became very dark. With sinking heart I realized what had happened. I had gone through the wrong door and we were in the coat closet. Charlie nudged me and said, "We have to come out of the closet."

My worst fears were realized as we emerged from the closet and saw the entire group, customers, ad agency executives, receptionist all laughing so hard that tears were streaming down their faces. My visions of “self-importance” shattered, no more Mr. Big Shot. Completely humiliated, I reached for another of those treacherous gold door knobs and this time, thankfully, it was the exit door.

Charlie never said a word. He is just a little my senior, a Vice President in our company, very mature, very smart, and much more conservative. Like, he knows the difference between a closet and a corridor.

When we had traveled down about 20 floors in the high speed elevator Charlie, breaking the deafening silence, said softly, “Well Collini (a nickname he gave me), do you think they guessed we were small town North Carolina boys?”

Well, in spite of having the "ego stuffing" knocked out of me, with the tension lifted and the air cleared I started laughing, and we laughed all the way to the ground floor, out into the street, into a taxi, and actually we have been laughing about it ever since.

I learned two very valuable lessons that day. First, humor heals. Charlie’s own humility, his ability to overlook an act that made us both look silly, and pretty darn "country", and his kind support of an employee/friend made a lasting impression. That wonderful example of forgiveness, overcoming embarrassment, being able to laugh at life was surely a cure for self-importance. Recently, still remembering that experience after all of the years, Charlie sent me the cartoon below:

                CHARLIE and COLLINI in the BIG CITY 

Friendship means forgiveness, patience, not holding a grudge, overlooking faults. It means encouraging, building up, supporting.

So many times since that day I have laughed during the most tense and serious moments, remembering that “Coming out of the Closet” experience, being reminded that human experience is like a dream, that we can change things by our attitude, we can “improve the dream”, we can survive the mistakes, the wrong moves, the sometimes poorly made decisions.

The second and very important lesson was that pride and a feeling of self-importance are NOT OUR FRIENDS.

Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount to the hungry hearts of the people of his day, included a simple formula for success and happiness. In the book of Matthew, he counseled, “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” (Matthew 5:5) Far from being a sign of weakness, meekness opens our eyes to see who we REALLY are as God's children.

A wonderful rendering of this same verse as recorded in The Message translation by Bible Scholar Eugene H. Peterson, from the original languages, brings it close to home to me: “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.”

When we tear away the false “this world” concept of success and happiness, the “race to the top”, pursuing wealth, fame, the need to be "the greatest" or to be admired for our wonderful achievements, we come to better understand the things of true worth and value. We become open to understanding our heritage as spiritual beings, as heirs of God. We begin see the true joy and happiness which is ours as we express the real and lasting qualities of love; tenderness; faithfulness; loyalty; honesty; selflessness. The temptation to be "someone else" fades away, replaced by a priceless sense of the wonder of life itself.

Experience shows that we could interpret the verse about "meekness" to say, "stay out of the fickle closet of arrogance and ego", and keep your eyes open to be sure you enter the right door, the door to unselfishness, humility and love.

Take my word for it.... It’s dark in that closet!!!