VICTORY - Finishing Last

I saw him sitting on the bench after the game, head down, weeping silently while the arena went wild with applause and cheering. The camera stayed on him for just a moment, a very tall young man, nice looking, apparently exhausted,  a college basketball player whose team had just lost their game in the United States collegiate basketball finals. 

The camera quickly swung on to members of the winning team, exultantly jumping in the air, fists raised, smiling and laughing, and the camera then panned to the crowd, cheering wildly and  celebrating Victory.

But my thoughts returned to that young man who was still feeling the sinking feeling of losing the big game. 

It brought to mind a statement by Sharon Pollock,  Canadian playwright who said: "There is nobility in the struggle, you don't have to win."

In today’s experience, we live in a world of competition, a general atmosphere of “Who is the best”?  “Who will be the greatest”?

IRON CHEF COMPETITION

Of course in sports that is a natural instinct.   But in business, politics, game shows, even on television cooking shows, it is always one person or group pitted against another!!    Everything seems to be a contest… a test to determine who is the smartest, most capable, most talented, best looking, funniest, and we even judge dogs to see which is the “best in show”!!  Never mind the nobility in the struggle, it is WIN or else!!

As I thought about that young basketball player I considered how tragic it is that we sometimes miss out on the important things in life, limit ourselves and others, maybe even our own children by focusing only on the winners.  This young man had played his heart out, persisted, played well, fairly and with enthusiasm, yet he seemed defeated.

It brought to mind the Iditarod dog sled race in Alaska. This grueling race covers approximately 1050 miles across the frozen tundra  from Anchorage to Nome, a trip that takes from 8 to 35 days, depending on the weather and the team’s progress.    Teams generally race through blizzards causing whiteout conditions, sub-zero temperatures and gale-force winds which can cause the wind chill factor to reach −100 °F (−73 °C).  With dogs pulling their sleds, fighting against the elements, they endure hardships all for the sake of being named the winner.

But, interestingly enough, in that race, realizing how rigorous it 

is, they also honor the last team across the Finish Line!!  Finishing last at the Iditarod means that the “Musher” wins the Red Lantern award.   Indeed, finishing last means that the Musher and dog team persevered, kept going despite the odds, kept the faith, demonstrated strength and endurance. Aren’t these the Winning qualities we all strive for?

For those who are open and receptive to lessons learned and written for our benefit by our ancestors, the Bible has some solid counsel.   Jesus of Nazareth told a story about humility.  It was about a man being invited to a feast.  Jesus said:   “When someone invites you to dinner, don’t take the place of honor. Somebody more important than you might have been invited by the host. Then he’ll come and call out in front of everybody, ‘You’re in the wrong place. The place of honor belongs to this man.’   Red-faced, you’ll have to make your way to the very last table, the only place left."

 “When you’re invited to dinner, go and sit at the last place. Then when the host comes he may very well say, ‘Friend, come up to the front.’ What I’m saying is, if you walk around with your nose in the air, you’re going to end up flat on your face. But if you’re content to be simply yourself, you will become more than yourself.”  *1

Mary Baker Eddy, writing on the subject of personal pride, the potential downfall of winners, said:  “Two personal queries give point to human action: Who shall be greatest?  And, Who shall be best? Earthly glory is vain; but not vain enough to attempt pointing the way to heaven, the harmony of being. The imaginary victories of rivalry and hypocrisy are defeats.“ *2

As we contemplate winning and losing in this human experience,  it is well to think of this counsel.  If we live our lives humbly, with the goal of loving one another, being faithful, kind, selfless, generous, with persistence and courage, we ARE winners.  Living our lives so as to be a reflection of our Father’s infinite qualities of Love, Principle and intelligence, even if we finish last in the daily contests, we will still be a Victor!!

Jesus, who when choosing between winning or finishing last in a human sense, was tempted in his own thought, the temptation came that he could be King of the Jews, that all of the kingdoms of the world could be his,*4  but he told that Satan of evil suggestion to "Get Thee Hence" and he chose to be a servant, a foot washer of his disciples,  humbly serving mankind and his Heavenly Father.  And, he was the Victor.  

In  Jesus own words: “... many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first." *3 

LOVE ONE ANOTHER!!!

* 1  LUKE 14: 7-11 (The Message Translation)

* 2  Miscellaneous Writings 267:3-7 Mary Baker Eddy

* 3 Mark 10:31  

Coming Out of the Closet … with Charlie

Funny how some of the things that seem so terrible at the time, maybe humiliating and embarrassing moments, turn out to be life’s most wonderful and beneficial lessons. The key is getting over it, learning from it and moving on.

Some years ago working in North Carolina, living back in the woods, down a dirt road that ran through a tobacco field outside of Greensboro, I was employed by a very small division of a large textile corporation.

A tremendous opportunity arose for our small start up division when a prospective client showed interested in the services of our fledgling company to support their national advertising campaign, .

Excited at the prospect of “hitting the big time”, my boss Charlie and I worked up a presentation to sell our services.

Now, I was feeling pretty important at this point. It was looking like I had “arrived”. Just a few years earlier, as a young, mid-twenties, computer operations specialist I was far from being a consultant. Now look at me, flying on the company plane to New York City to make an important client presentation, “hitting the BIG TIME”.

When the limousine pulled up under the wing of the corporate plane at Teeterboro airport, my eyes glazed over at the feeling of being “Executive Material”… a most important young man. Amazing how quickly one can get stars in their eyes!!!

               

We were whisked by limousine down to Madison Avenue. The Ad agency offices where we were to meet the client were right out of a Hollywood set, expensive furniture and luxurious brilliant red carpet covered the floor and then continued right up the walls. A few pictures on the walls broke up the sea of red, and there were several gold door knobs adorning the carpeted walls, indicating doors leading to the inside office corridor and conference rooms. 

Warmly welcomed by the Ad Agency staff, we made our way into a conference room filled with client representatives and Ad agency executives, and we made our presentation. 

Then, feeling the glow that comes with a successful sales presentation and with my own visions of rapid growth into top management ranks becoming more realistic, Charlie and I confidently left the room. Most of the client group followed us out into the reception area, exchanging wishes for safe travel.

Then, the unthinkable happened. I reached for the gold doorknob, the one prominently sticking out of that sea of red carpet. As I opened the door and walked out of the offices, both Charlie and I looked back to say one more "Thank You". As the door closed behind us, it became very dark. With sinking heart I realized what had happened. I had gone through the wrong door and we were in the coat closet. Charlie nudged me and said, "We have to come out of the closet."

My worst fears were realized as we emerged from the closet and saw the entire group, customers, ad agency executives, receptionist all laughing so hard that tears were streaming down their faces. My visions of “self-importance” shattered, no more Mr. Big Shot. Completely humiliated, I reached for another of those treacherous gold door knobs and this time, thankfully, it was the exit door.

Charlie never said a word. He is just a little my senior, a Vice President in our company, very mature, very smart, and much more conservative. Like, he knows the difference between a closet and a corridor.

When we had traveled down about 20 floors in the high speed elevator Charlie, breaking the deafening silence, said softly, “Well Collini (a nickname he gave me), do you think they guessed we were small town North Carolina boys?”

Well, in spite of having the "ego stuffing" knocked out of me, with the tension lifted and the air cleared I started laughing, and we laughed all the way to the ground floor, out into the street, into a taxi, and actually we have been laughing about it ever since.

I learned two very valuable lessons that day. First, humor heals. Charlie’s own humility, his ability to overlook an act that made us both look silly, and pretty darn "country", and his kind support of an employee/friend made a lasting impression. That wonderful example of forgiveness, overcoming embarrassment, being able to laugh at life was surely a cure for self-importance. Recently, still remembering that experience after all of the years, Charlie sent me the cartoon below:

                CHARLIE and COLLINI in the BIG CITY 

Friendship means forgiveness, patience, not holding a grudge, overlooking faults. It means encouraging, building up, supporting.

So many times since that day I have laughed during the most tense and serious moments, remembering that “Coming out of the Closet” experience, being reminded that human experience is like a dream, that we can change things by our attitude, we can “improve the dream”, we can survive the mistakes, the wrong moves, the sometimes poorly made decisions.

The second and very important lesson was that pride and a feeling of self-importance are NOT OUR FRIENDS.

Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount to the hungry hearts of the people of his day, included a simple formula for success and happiness. In the book of Matthew, he counseled, “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” (Matthew 5:5) Far from being a sign of weakness, meekness opens our eyes to see who we REALLY are as God's children.

A wonderful rendering of this same verse as recorded in The Message translation by Bible Scholar Eugene H. Peterson, from the original languages, brings it close to home to me: “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.”

When we tear away the false “this world” concept of success and happiness, the “race to the top”, pursuing wealth, fame, the need to be "the greatest" or to be admired for our wonderful achievements, we come to better understand the things of true worth and value. We become open to understanding our heritage as spiritual beings, as heirs of God. We begin see the true joy and happiness which is ours as we express the real and lasting qualities of love; tenderness; faithfulness; loyalty; honesty; selflessness. The temptation to be "someone else" fades away, replaced by a priceless sense of the wonder of life itself.

Experience shows that we could interpret the verse about "meekness" to say, "stay out of the fickle closet of arrogance and ego", and keep your eyes open to be sure you enter the right door, the door to unselfishness, humility and love.

Take my word for it.... It’s dark in that closet!!!